“I was working two jobs, and while I wasn’t desperate, I was thinking about money a lot,” said AJ. He first stumbled over the FinDom scene on Twitter when he was a kinky gay college student struggling to pay his rent. “I don’t know why there aren’t more gay FinDoms out there,” said Master AJ, “but I’m certainly not the only one.”ĪJ is 23-year-old sexually dominant gay man who lives, works, and drains gay subs all over the world from his home base in the Pacific Northwest. Why do so few gay young men get into this? Do young gay men realize how much money they’re leaving on the table? Could you please tell them? As much as I like having my wallet drained by a hot young straight guy calling me a fag, I would so much rather give my money to a hot and dominant young gay man. It’s often a part of their persona they play up: they’re hot straight guys demanding cash tributes from “pathetic fags” that they would never touch in real life. Thing is, almost all the guys doing FinDom are straight. I really get off on sending money that we can spare to younger, hotter guys and being degraded for my pains. (We had this conversation at the start of the pandemic and playing online feels safer.) One of things I’ve been able to explore in the last year is FinDom. My husband has a couple of fuckbuddies that he sees while I do most of my playing online. Sex was the thing we fought about most, and our relationship improved when we took that conflict off the table. We decided to stay together and I’m glad we did. Thanks in part to reading your column for many years, we were able to have a calm conversation about whether we wanted to remain together in a companionate marriage or split up. I very much love my husband but two years ago we acknowledged that our desire for each other sexually just wasn’t there anymore.